The Ruse
by Sir Tragic
Summary: What would happen if Chizuru likeing girls was just a act broght on by her shyness twords our number one subsitute soul reaper? read and find out. Ichigo/Chizuru. Rated T for future, may change to M.
1. Chapter 1

The Ruse.

Ok my loyal followers here is my second story. As you all know I love odd paring, usually with the main character and you all also know my writing skills are lackluster at best. What the thousands of you don't know is a recently got a 9 to 5 job and have very little time to do anything now a days. I WILL continue to write stories for you, my adoring fan base, but any work I do will be severely shortened. Any who I was watching bleach ( yes watching, withhold ya judgment!) and i noticed how incredible amazing the secondary character chizuru was. so cute and she openly molests inoue every chance she gets. then it hit me. what if her being a lesbian was all just an incredible act brought on by her shyness towards our number one orange haired substitute soul reaper? well i guess we will find out huh? oh and im wasn't to sure when the story should take place but its before ichigo goes to Hueco Mundo and after he rescues rukia.. All right everyone lets go!... *check's loyal followers* huh...only 2 of you...better than expected! now on wit da show!

Disclaimer: i dont not own Bleach or any of this, it is all purely a fictional piece of writing. please do not sue me for i am broke.

All he wanted to do was sleep. just a few hours of sweet, uninterrupted, dreamless, sleep. Not to much to ask for no? It was already night time and as unfair as it was ichigo knew that dealing with hollows came first, but damn he was so tired. Four freaking hollows back to back and on a school night no less.

With a heavy sigh ichigo hefted Zangetsu back onto his back and started the trek back to where he left his body. School had let out earlier that day and he was halfway home when the hollow alerts stared coming in forcing ichigo to stash his soulless body under a nearby tree. A quick dash from rooftop to rooftop made the trip back so much easier and with a short jump, ichigo was home free sort to speak.

"What. The. Hell. I left the damn thing right here."

shocked and mildly aggravated ichigo grunted, his body was missing. Granted he was gone for a few hours, it still doesn't excuse people from just picking up a body and just running off with it. With a sigh and a scowl ichigo jumped onto a near by building hoping to find any trace of his vanishing corpse.

*30 minutes prior*

Chizuru was not having a good day. First her alarm broke down making here late for first class, then tatsuki boob-blocked her from inoue all during lunch. When school let out and she finally got home the food she planned on using for dinner had gone bad. So here she was, walking home in the dark with groceries. Deciding to cut through the part to save some time, chizuru quickened her pace. After all, karakura town at night was spooky. Night after night if you listen closely you could hear a howling of some kind, it sounded demonic to her. All of chizuru's friends that she went to with this said she was just hearing things and not to pay attention to it.

_'bah, they just don't hear it. there has to be something going on in this town.'_

Now that she thought about it, ever time she would hear that awful howling, ichigo and his friends would go off suddenly saying that had to use the restroom or go to the nurses office.

_'I bet that's it. they have something to do with those weird howling I hear. I bet that - gah!'_

so engrossed in her musings, chizuru fail to noticed a tree root and fell face first into the ground. Luckily her glasses didn't seems to suffer any damage but the throbbing pain in her head signified the rest of the night was not going to be fun.

"Geez. Stupid tree... cant you see im walking by?" Rubbing her painful forehead, chizuru knew the tree wouldn't respond. After straitening out her dress and making sure the food she had just bought was ok, she looked down at the would be assailant. As it turns out, it wasn't the trees fault, it was a persons leg she tripped over, and not just any person, its was ichigo.

"I...ichigo? what are you doing out here this late? shouldn't you be home by now? Ichigo?

Something was off. ichigo wasn't moving at all. He was just sitting there like a corpse and that started to freak her out.

'_he...maybe he's...'_

Quickly putting her ear to his chest to check if ichigo was breathing chizuru sighed in relief, he was indeed alive. Now the question was what is wrong with him.

_'maybe he fell asleep out here? Baka, he could be robbed or kidnapped. doesn't he worry about that?'_

"Hey, ichigo! Wake up! Baka I said wake up!" Slap " A heavy sleeper huh?"

Bracing herself, chizuru readied her fist and aimed right for ichigo's gut.

"this well wake you up! Falcon Punch!" while it wasn't as flashy and dramatic as the real deal, it was still something fun to do. the punch hit its target and for a moment chizuru thought it worked as ichigo jerked slightly. But alas, no dice.

"hmm. maybe he's not sleeping after all. Maybe its a medical issue?"

She thought about it, racking her brain, then, a light bulb went off. forming a vague connection to ichigo's current situation and to why he is always running off to the nurses office and restroom during class. chizuru thought she had it.

'_but that still doesn't explain what happened. i suppose the best thing to do now is try and get him home.'_

Luckily she knew where ichigo's house was after following tatsuki there once when she had to bring ichigo his homework after he was gone for a few days. There was only one problem. Even though his house/family clinic was only few blocks away, how was she going to get him there? chizuru instantly ruled out bridal style, it would just be weird. she could drag him but ichigo probably wouldn't be to happy about that. Then she remembered when her parents where still alive, her dad had been a fireman and as such had shown her how to do the fireman carry just incase she even needed it.

Deciding to leave the food here for now as ichigo was more important, once again chizuru braced her self. Grabbing ichigo she hefted him up and over her back.

"Dear K-kami your heavy...*pant* this is not going to be fun. You so owe me after this is...*pant* over." Despite her size and figure, chizuru was pretty strong and did work out when give the chance. but still, carrying ichigo was no easy task, even if it was just two and a half blocks away.

Slowly and agonizingly chizuru made her way to ichigo's. a few times she had almost dropped him on his head. the trip in total took about fifteen minutes and when she finally reached his house she sighed in relief as she sat ( tossed ) ichigo down outside of the doorway. Composing herself, she was slightly nervous, she had only briefly met ichigo's family once and from the stories she heard his dad was insane. But still, ichigo needed help so she put on a smile and prepared for the worst when she ranh the doorbell.

The door opened and a girl with light brown hair greeted her, she would later learn it was ichigo's little sister yuzu.

"Yes, may i help you?"

_'she is so adorable!' _chizuru thought. "Um, hello. sorry to bother you at this hour but i found ichigo here ( points to ichigo ) passed out against a tree in the park i trie-"

"Dad! There's something wrong with ichi-nii! Come quick!" cutting off chizuru and quickly rushing to ichigo's body, yuzu was already in tears and was franticly trying to wake ichigo up.

shocked by the outburst, chizuru tried to explain that he was alive but was cut off again by a mans voice, who she later learned belonged to ichigo's father, isshin

"What? My son! What illness do you have? Speak to me! oh my dearest Masaki im am to late! I have failed our children as a father! Our son will be with you soon!"

The scene quickly turned dramatic as a massive poster of who chizuru suspected to be ichigo's mother materializes out of no where and isshin throws himself at the mercy of the poster weeping.

"Don't mind him, he overreacts easily." a new voice. looking inside the house chizuru spotted a girl with shoulder length dark hair making her way down the stairs.

"Karin! ichi-nii is..is.." sobbing, yuzu looked at karin for help.

"Its ok yuzu, you know how he over does things, he probably just passed out." looking at chizuru. " are you one of ichigos classmates?

Stunned by the weird show that unfolded, all chizuru could do was nod.

"Well thanks for bringing him here" turning once more to her father, karin growled. "Baka!" she yelled as she kicked isshin in the side who was still ranting to the masaki poster. "help us bring ichigo inside."

Muttering words about mean and ungrateful kids, isshin asked chizuru to wait inside as they brought ichigo to his room. still in a bit of a daze, chizuru accepted the kind offer and sat down on the couch while karin and isshin moved ichigo to his room and yuzu when to get her something to drink. As she sat there in ichigos house chizuru couldn't help but wonder, is his family always like this?

And...done. first chapter of The Ruse is complete. hopefully some of you will like it even thought i suck at writing. could use a beta reader for sure though... any who. read it, review it and then read it again!


	2. Chapter 2

First allow me to say this very important sentence. I'm sorry, forgive me my loyal followers! I truly am very sorry for the inexcusably long delay in updates. I had planned to update a lot sooner, truly I did, but the phrase "I'll do it tomorrow" has more power to it than I realized. The story is by no means dead, I will continue until it is finished or some pays me a lot of money to not write it anymore. I am thoroughly pleased by how many people have taken the time to favorite or follow the story. As someone with little to no self confidence, that has helped me greatly. But enough of my rambling! My loyal followers did not come here to listen to me go on and on...or did you? Bah, on wit da show!

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><p>Chizuru sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Her food was gone. After enduring the craziness that is Ichigo's family, which she later confirmed was the normal for that house, all Chizuru wanted to do was go home, eat and go to bed. Sadly fate (or an opportune troublemaker, which ever is more believable) had slightly different plans. She wasn't even gone half an hour and somebody just comes in out of nowhere and takes her food. Today just wasn't her day.<p>

"What else can honestly go wrong today?"

Tempting the gods has never worked before for anyone and that was not going to change for Chizuru. As if on queue, thunder roared into existence and a torrential downpour slammed down almost instantly. Dropping her shoulders in defeat and letting out a groan, all the poor girl could do was drag herself home and go to bed exhausted and starved. As she rounded the corner to her apartment, a small smile appeared on her face. That day may have been terrible, but it wasn't all bad. After all, she did find an unconscious Ichigo in the park. That was always a plus.

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><p>Ichigo was not amused. The same could not be said for Kisuke Urahara who was currently having trouble hiding his grin behind his fan.<p>

"Sorry Ichigo, I don't believe we have anything that can help you find your body."

Of course they had something, he could spot at least four different things that could help in this room alone, but Ichigo did not need to know that. He needed to learn from his mistakes, especially when his body was such a rookie one at that.

"Then what am I supposed to do Urahara? I've looked over half the town already, it's just gone!"

"Calm down Ichigo, I am sure it will turn up somewhere, it might be in a sewer duct, it could be up a tree or in a ditch somewhere."

He said while making dramatic gestures with his fan for emphasis.

"Who knows, someone might have taken it for their own personally gain."

By now Ichigo was really not amused.

"And just what does that mean?"

"It could mean anything. If someone hated you, they could have taken your body and done horrible things to it. You might be missing an arm, or a leg or both."

Ichigo was starting to sweat at this point.

"Maybe I have it wrong, maybe someone else took your body for different reasons. Maybe they wanted to make fun of you. Or they are going to dress you up in woman's clothing and take pictures for blackmail."

Urahara was having way too much fun with this. Poor Ichigo was practically sweating rivers at this point.

"Or even.."

He leaned in and paused for dramatic effect.

"They may use your body to fulfill their wild, desires and… fantasies."

He whispered the last word and it had its desired effect.

Ichigo's face became a mixture of panic and embarrassment as he burst from his chair and ran out of the door in a flash.

He needs to find his body, right now!

Unable to further control himself, Kisuke toppled over with laughter. Sometimes it was just too easy to tease that kid. He was joining Jinta and surprisingly, Ururu who all share a laugh at the substitute soul reaper's expense. Tessai, being the reasonable one of the group, just shook his head at their antics while continuing his work on improving their humble shop. After all, customers won't bring themselves in.

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><p>Ichigo cursed under his breath as he sprinted from one rooftop to another. Sleep was the only thing that Ichigo wanted and maybe some revenge with the body-napper if anything funny took place in his absence. He started to regret not bringing Kon with him, but after what happened last time, Ichigo was not particularly willing to give that another try. He could never go back to that pet store again<p>

"Yo, Strawberry guy, what's the rush? Hollow alert or something?"

Having been so lost in thought, Ichigo nearly missed the person trying to gain his attention. It was the soul reaper with the impressive Afro that had been assigned to Karakura Town ever since Rukia gave her powers to Ichigo that fateful night. He never really seemed to do much other than lounge about here and there, not that it bothered Ichigo. Even so, a little help dealing with Hollows wouldn't hurt either.

"Afro dude. It's you. Sorry, I don't have time to chat today, someone took my body from where I left it."

"Ah, that's rough, Strawberry. Just be glad you have a body to lose in the first place."

"Yes well, I really have to get back to looking for it. I will talk to you another time Afro dude."

As Ichigo turned to continue looking for his missing body, the soul reaper with the majestic Afro called out to him once again.

"A body you say? I thought I saw something strange while I was searching for (hiding from) hollows. Someone was carrying what looked like a body off in the south. I think it couldn't have been more than a few blocks down the road form here."

'To the south you say? The only thing down there is…!"

"Thanks Afro dude but I have to go, see ya!"

With that, Ichigo sped away from the rooftop as fast as he could. The only place this far south in Karakura Town was the Kurosaki Clinic. It made perfect sense that someone would take an unconscious Ichigo to his family's clinic. Sure enough, when he reached his house and jumped through his bedroom window, his body was there in bed.

Relief washed over his haggard soul as he merged once again with his body. It was quite a scare, but Ichigo got his body back, and even better, after a quick check, nothing seemed to be missing or violated. He swore under his breath that he would get Urahara back for scaring him like that.

It was already late, his was family was already in bed and Ichigo didn't want to disturb them to ask who it was that found him in the park and brought him home. Whoever it was, thanking them could wait till tomorrow. For now, he flopped onto his bed, not really bothering to change out of his school clothes and allowed blissful sleep to claim him.

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><p>And done! Sweet! Originally I had planned on making this chapter longer, but time constraints and other valid excesses had me cut it short. this does mean I have more starting material ready for chapter 3, which I promise will be out WAAY faster than this one took. Big thanks to Ati-Cha for being patient with me and helping me out. Still looking for a Beta Reader if anyone is interested in the job. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. as always, read it, review it and read it again!<p>

Side note: Only 1.3k words? fuuu! It felt like it would be so much more T.T


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